Acknowledgment—seeing and being seen—is a deeply powerful experience. Research has found that having someone, sometimes a complete stranger, just sitting with us while we perform a painful task reduces the pain we experience compared to doing it alone. And if that someone is a calm adult, children can show reduced cortisol levels.

“Compassion is an act of witness and being fully present to another person—and helping that person understand that someone sees them, hears them, and knows who they are...” (Parker Palmer)

Humans are interdependent. We are shaped deeply by our environment. We are wired to connect. One of our greatest needs is to be SEEN, not for who we pretend to be but for who we truly are. Feeling seen helped us to believe in and recognize ourselves.

A fully present person being with us, even without giving any advice, can help to regulate our physiology, reduce stress, anxiety and make a positive impact on our life. Having this experience also, may allow us to be present and have more compassion towards ourselves later on.

Instead of having the typical response of harsh self-criticism when we make a mistake (that can just produce a sense of isolation and pain); we learn to connect with the pain, recognizing it before going into problem-solving mode.

We learn to see and feel that it is actually a common human experience, not something that isolates us from others or something that shouldn’t be felt or happened.

Some of us might worry that self-compassion would only encourage weakness, laziness, or letting ourselves off the hook for mistakes. This actually doesn't seem to happen. Self-compassion in fact can improve performance as there’s no stressful painful emotions  stuck and energy flows freely within our own compassionate presence.

28 - 09 - 2023