There are four attitudes that come from rooted beliefs or convictions that create disconnection and separation.

These attitudes steal energy from our relationships and from us. They are leaks draining precious energy.

They are:

• Wanting / need to always make a good impression
• Wanting / need to always have the reason / be right / to be on top
• Wanting / need to please
• Wanting / need to fix

We might feel we can make good impressions by saying we have read a book we haven’t, pretend to be interested or know about something we don’t care at all in or saying yes when we know and every cell of our bodies feels we want to say no.

When we need to be right or be on top we might look for ways to find other people's faults, weaknesses or mistakes. So, it is difficult to cooperate or connect with a person that needs to be wrong for us to feel right or feel good.

How difficult is it for me to be wrong, to not have the reason? Maybe I feel if people find out I am wrong I won’t be loved, appreciated, I might be judged. Maybe I won’t be the lead I suppose to be?

Some of us have been or are people pleasers. There’s this need in us to say YES to everything regardless of any feeling that says the contrary in us.

Some of us might feel we need to do everything for everyone, in this way even if they don’t love us, at least they are going to need us.

If I say no, they might not like me, love me anymore.

If we don’t do everything for everyone we can be completely alone.

Or the world would end.

As professional fixers some of us go into improvement projects instead of relationships.

Why am I always interested in someone that feels in need of improvement / help?

How would I feel if this wouldn't be the case?

So, which one of these leaks is the one that for any reason you think is big in you?

Are you the one that always wants to make a good impression, or the one that is always right, or are you the one that always says yes and wants to please everyone? Or the professional fixer or saviour?

Fluent in all four?

Master in one?

Being able to see / be aware of a pattern is a huge first step for them to start to change.

They most probably develop during childhood as a way to cope or survive or we were taught or we learned this was the way to be. They were useful for a while and they are not anymore. And, they can be really detrimental to our well being.

All these voices are based on fear and survival.

Amanae is the space to discover the real inner voice and listen to it.

04 - 10 - 2023